Summer Day

Don't know why it has been so difficult to blog ....i have thoughts, but they seem to be at the most inopportune times like while i am at work or driving and by the time i get to my computer, laziness takes over. Either way 2012 has proven to be an interesting year so far...helping to plan my friends wedding, being in a relationship for almost two years and hence learning each others quirks and just how to share life with another person, family issues, career decisions, preserving friendships etc.  Speaking of family issues please pray for my dad oh...he has been sick and we are tying to get him access to better healthcare. Also, I pray I not be resentful to patients that I take care of who have all this access to healthcare that my tax dollars helps provide, yet they don't take their meds, show up to appointments or treat me like I am their house help, meanwhile my dad and other people in countries like Nigeria can drop dead any day. Ughh. On a brighter note, my brother found an internship. Sounds easy enough, but man this was such a huge burden to us because when you are an immigrant it is hard to find internships, jobs and not finding an internship would affect his graduation etc. Long story short, I am grateful.

Meanwhile, I need a wardrobe overhaul. I walk into my closet and i just frown. I still have clothes I wore in undergrad! Next splurge will be clothes shopping I hope...see the problem is that I hate shopping. The many things I hate about it pale in comparison to these: trying the items on and standing in a line. One month ago, I walked into NY&co to get some stuff for work. Saw some things...tried them on, some fit okay,but i needed a different size. There was a short line...i was like nyeh forget this, went home and then ordered those items online. Yeah, I'd rather shop online everyday. This year, I also discovered green smoothies and on the days I wake up early they have been yummy. Basically, it is a way for me to get some veggies in because i don't like veggies. Basically, blend frozen fruits, bananas, into a smoothie but I add like a cup of spinach/tomatoes/carrots/kale/celery/salad mix etc The veggie taste is masked by the sweet fruits, and if not sweet enough add some dates instead of sugar. Awesomeness. Then I discovered this blog "tillmydyingday" and I love it!

Check out this post:
http://tillmydyingday.blogspot.com/2010/10/love-is-not-for-everyone-part-2.html


My next hair adventure is a product called curlformers and I hope to do a post about that next time.

Happy Memorial Weekend!

Updates

What in the world? My last post was in December? But I remember wishing blogville happy new year...Anyhow here is what's been happening:

1) New Yr Resolution: Anybody with access to technology now has a wealth of information at their tips and so we all know the new health fads, recommended supplements etc. I see people with debilitating illnesses at work everyday and so I am quite health conscious. America tends to be a "treatment" society and there are more calls to shift the mindset to "preventative" medicine as this will offset healthcare costs and dollars. ANyhow...long story short, my new yr res is to incorporate more veggies into my diet 'cos veggies are good for you: phytochemicals, essential minerals, vitamins, antioxidants etc. In naija, I looooooooved veggies, cos our veggies were leafy "green, ugba, ugwu, bitterleaf, okro, krainkrain, ora, garden egg". Since being here for more than a decade, it has been hard for me to find veggies I like except for corn, and bell peppers. So every month or so, I am trying to cook a new veggie side to eat with my main rice/pasta/beans/meat staples. 1st try was brussel sprouts. EPIC FAIL. The website claimed that when roasted in the oven with salt and black pepper (which by the way black pepper has cancer fighting properties) it tastes as good as french fries. I don't know what french fries the author was referring to 'cos the brussel sprouts tasted like cabbage gone frightfully wrong! I couldn't even finish one sprout.

 Exp 2 was oven roasted asparagus; now that tasted good but the downers were it made my pee stink, and it does not make for good reheating. Due to my busy schedule, I like to cook in bulk so I can take food to work, minimize on spending. The next day at work, the reheated asparagus was soggy as crap. So I will revisit asparagus in the future but it will have to be during a weekend off or leisurely moment for one meal. Experiment 3 was cucumbers. Freaking awesome. I love cucs: portable, can eat raw...win win. Today was exp 4 and I made green beans. OMG i have a second winner, and it is quite firm, I have a feeling it will still taste good at work tomorrow. I made shrimp chinese fried rice with some leftover rice and green beans as my side. Can I say awesomeness!

2) Hair update: things are better from my last post. I now do a weekly to biweekly hot oilish treatment, before I shampoo. I say hot oilish cos it's a mix of castor oil and aloe vera gel +/- coconut oil. My hair is loving this. Less hair shedding when I wash, style. Also been minimally manipulating my hair. It is in big cornrows or twists under a lace front wig. My goal is to continue this until the summer and hopefully when I let my hair loose then, it will be more moisturized and more manageable.

3) Sad moment: colleague at work separated from her husband and is moving away to another state and residency. This is the 2nd of my colleagues this is happening to. Marriage is hard and I feel like medical careers can be an additional burden on a relationship. Shout out of appreciation to those of you that walk through this journey of life with us. Tonight I ask God to help couples in highly demanding professions.

4) Arts: This month has been tough. Haven't done much in the way of entertainment. I am ashamed to say I can't remember the last time I salsa danced. I miss it with every fiber of my soul! Zumba helps but it is not the same. Finally had a weekend off last weekend and saw the ballet performance of "Carmen". It was different but not enough to make me loooooove the ballet. Was supposed to catch the play "sense and sensibility" but didn't have time. Still hope to see it soon before it ends. Our off broadway theater is playing "west side story" now, and i hope i get to see that 'cos of the cool dance moves. I remember watching the movie as a child since it was part of my mom's college collection and it was sooooo sad.

That's all i got.
gnite.

Hair Post - december

JC of The Natural Haven put up a post http://thenaturalhaven.blogspot.com/2011/12/are-you-happy-with-your-hair.html#comment-form asking if readers were happy with their hair. She gave us 4 questions to answer which I really liked 'cos it forces me to review my hair journey so far. Here goes

1. Your texture - It's alright I guess. I don't think I am in love with it. I have Nigerian hair. It is 4b or a...not sure, fine strands. Wish my hair was mega thick and not so wiry. However, in it's natural state it is thicker than when straight so happy with that part. Always had to keep bumping my hair when straight so it won't look so flat against my scalp.

2. Your products (or knowledge of what products you should pick to suit your hair's needs)- After 3yrs being natural (counting from last texturizer in 2008), I am still struggling with the right products but I feel like I am closer and closer. I am half minded about Henna (supposed to be good for strengthening, thickening and conditioning). But it is so messy and time consuming. I have tried different products for washing (black soap, karen BB or curls), styling (afroveda, KKK, gels), conditioning (herbal essence, natural oils, aloe vera juice, many other brands) but my goal is to simplify, consolidate into 1 brand, and stop being a product junkie. I just tried keracare natural textures for the first time and think I may have found it! I also tried hot oil treatments for the first time twice and loved it. So now I am thinking of eliminating henna or doing henna gloss only, because of question 3, and hopefully will be able to stick with just keracare natural textures as my brand and hot oil treatments.

3. Your techniques (i.e are you happy and confident with your wash day and styling?) - No No No. I still lose a noticeable amount of hair during wash days, and even more so when I henna monthly. I think because my fine, type 4 strands are already prone to tangling and breakage, and to get henna out properly i have to wash the hair loose multiple times. I also wonder if henna is too heavy for my fine strands. Unlike others, I feel like on non-henna wash days when I put the hair in 6 loose twists, and get out of the shower and unravel the hair, there is still conditioner/shampoo within the twist unlike when i do it loose. I don't know what I am doing wrong. The best wash day I have had was last week, when I tried a hot oil tmt for the first time, but I also tried keracare natural textures cleansing cream so i don't know what helped. I still lost a little hair though. I am happy with my styling, especially twist outs.

4. Your length (are you able to maintain or gain length?)- After 3 yrs of being natural, I feel stuck in a rut. The rut of 6-8 inches, which it takes some people less than a year to achieve. Well to give myself some slack, I have had 3 major trims. The first 2 because of texturizing twice, so as my hair grew, the ends got thin. Most recent trim was August 26 'cos my ends were just so tangly, I don't think i had trimmed in more than a year. The best thing I feel i have discovered is crotchet braids, the modern kind :) as a protective style. If any of you are looking for a way to have curly extensions without sewing, gluing or tiny cornrows, youtube crotchet braids and be amazed! I hope crotcheting for my protective styles helps me retain length and not damage my edges.

I will post quarterly updates ...maybe, just to see if I am making progress.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Grant us, Father, hearts of worship
At this time of Jesus’ birth;
We would see anew His glory
Shine throughout this sin-cursed earth. —D. De Haan


I hope you guys are having a wonderful christmas days, especially those of you lucky enough to be spending it with your immediate families. As for me I am chilling here at home, will do some studying, drink some wine, talk on the phone with loved ones. I was just reflecting on how awesome xmas was when I lived in Nigeria. We would go to church in our brand new clothes, which I actually liked on that day (hated going to church as a kid) 'cos I loved the christmas songs. We would then feast at home, receive some visitors, and also find time to visit others. Frankly, i don't know how our stomachs supported all the feasting. If we happened to be in the village there would be masquerades to see and palm wine to drink. We also got simple Christmas gifts which in retrospect I think is awesome, 'cos xmas for me does not center around gifts as is the culture here. There's been all sorts of ruckus in the news about that. Fedex getting in trouble for the way gifts were being delivered, spouses contemplating divorce because the appropriate gift was not given, children being belligerent in stores.

Thankfully, that is all balanced out by news of charitable people and charitable events. Something about xmas brings out the humanity and charity of others unlike any other religious holiday. That should tell you something about the behind the scenes power of God even in those that don't believe. Makes me smile. When I think of xmas, I think of festivity with friends and loved ones. I actually can't wait to build traditions, decorate, feast with my own future family one day. Till that day comes, I will enjoy this time God has given me to have a quiet, joyful xmas where I don't have to shower or cook anything unless I want to :)

Lastly, i just want to remember the Amajor, Emengini and Oyelowo families who have tragically lost young loved ones this season. I also remember my baby's friend who is suffering from throat cancer. I hope Christmas brings renewed faith, love and hope for all these families.

Tosin

So yesterday a link was posted on the internet which is slowly but surely becoming viral:

helpbringtosinhome.com

A very scary, unfortunate sounding case. People have responded by trying to make the linkand case public. However, now this case has gotten weird.  A supposed detective ( i see no reason why he would lie) left this comment:

DETECTIVE'S COMMENT: "My name is Detective David Osborne and I’m investigating this case. We have been in constant contact with Tosin’s family regarding the investigation. They are upset about individuals making speculations and posting comments, which are simply untrue. This type of behavior does not help them through this very difficult process, nor does it help the investigation. If anyone has information they can call me personally at 843-720-2395. I will not respond to any comments."

AND THEN THE FAMILY FRIEND OLUBUNMI'S COMMENT:"My name is Olubunmi K and I am a good friend of Tosin { }. I am writing to request that you take down the post regarding Tosin. There are quite a few inaccuracies in the report, and at this very sensitive time, we are asking that everyone respect her family's wishes, including taking down this post. Thank you for your sensitivity and cooperation.
Sincerely,
Bunmi"

AM I MISSING SOMETHING? IF YOU LOOK AT AN OVERWHELMING MAJORITY OF THE COMMENTS, PEOPLE HAVE NOT MADE ANY INSINUATIONS OR NEGATIVE COMMENTS OR SPECULATIONS. THE ONLY SPECULATION COULD BE: http://www.postandcourier.com/news/2011/dec/10/no-sign-found-of-reported-ravenel-bridge-jumper/ 
SINCE HER CAR WAS SUPPOSEDLY FOUND ABANDONED WITH THE KEYS IN IT, BUT NOTHING NEGATIVE WAS SAID WHEN I SAW THAT COMMENT JUST ANOTHER PLEA TO PLS FIND HER. WHETHER THE WOMAN OFF THE BRIDGE IS TOSIN OR NOT, NO ONE KNOWS AND THAT IS NOT TTHE ISSUE,  THE CRUX OF THE ISSUE IS FINDING HER!


AGAIN I SAY, THE VAST MAJORITY OF RESPONSES HAVE BEEN PRAYERS AND SUGGESTIONS AND EFFORTS TO FIND TOSIN. COMMENTS FROM FRIEND AND DETECTIVE MAKE IT SEEM LIKE THEY DON'T WANT US TO DO SO AND THAT IS CONFUSING THE HECK OUT OF ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Things that I loved today

1) This pic. These women look so lovely with their hair. I typically don't like blonde hair jobs on people of color, but oh my God the blonde afro is freaking fierce!

source: http://breegant.tumblr.com/post/8657862163/i-know-i-posted-something-from-this-shoot-but-it

2) These songs: Dbanj's Oliver grew on me; freaking love the beat. Still repeating Naeto C's Afurum gi nanya and One republic's Good Life on my playlist.

A night out

Hi peeps, so yesterday was my girl's bridal shower plus bachelorette party. The bridal shower was fun except that it was hosted by her Caucasian coworkers and we her Nigerian friends were invited. I was post call yesterday so i slept most of the day and when i woke up, hadn't eaten and was already running late to the shower. But i figured there would be food there, and apparently so did the other Nigerian guests, boy were we wrong lol. There were cup cakes, alcohol, fruit tray and chocolate covered strawberries. Some of my Nigerian friends went a little overboard making side comments like "being allergic to hunger" etc. It didn't seem like our hostess understood the snide comments thanks to the accent....at least I hope. Bridal showers are becoming my new favorite thing. Why? Because a group of women can get together to gist, have R-rated conversation, eat and best of all; play games. I love playing games and at regular parties no one wants to play games anymore like scrabble, taboo, charades et al. Interestingly, one of my friends there, she is 29 had never seen a condom. So they opened up one for her and were explaining and showing it to her and she was marveled. I couldn't help wondering if this was one of those Nigerian; "i am a good girl" acts or was she really that innocent.  Oh well.

After the shower we headed out for the bachelorette party and really that is what is prompting this blog post, because I feel like I have lost it. Lost what? I don't know, my youth or something lol. Being at the bar/dance club was just "ok". I kept feeling like I was going through the motions of trying to have fun. Maybe it was the music. I felt like only 1 out of 8 songs would actually get my adrenaline going and before I could fully enjoy it, the Djay would switch. He was one of those djays that would play most songs for like 30 secs or less and lead into another. Then of course he did that thing which 95% of djays do, where they play this string of what seems to be classic old school songs. The crowd always yells enthusiastically and everyone bursts out their old school moves, except for me. I HATE old school songs. If they want to take it back, they should play Michael Jackson. I wish I could tell you the names of the songs and you would know what I was talking about. Then there was the crowd...irritating. I got beer spilled on me, got stepped on, had some strange girl trying to dance with me maybe she thought I was gay or she was drunk, lots of people trying to have sex on the dance floor, weird smells. Plus I was still hungry, my thoughts wandered to my couch, a bottle of wine, ice cream, sushi and a good movie, and that freaked me out. Shit! Have I become old?

But honestly when I think of fun things now, dancing is still included but I like the music at salsa clubs/lounges better, traveling because I LOVE sight seeing, eating out, shows, plays, spoken word, festivals, live music, something physical like hiking or paintball and other things that I haven't tried like snorkeling, jet skiing, camping.